Secret Weapon 7
Ah, The Smiler, perhaps the most infamous case of British rollercoasters having messed up lore to ever exist.
The Smiler has the most complex lore out of all of Alton Tower's secret weapons, so we need to get the basics first. The Smiler is a Gerstlauer steel rollercoaster that opened in 2013 with the world record for most inversions, being 14. However, this rollercoaster contains what might be one of the most detailed and largely uncovered stories ever created. The Smiler lore can be divided into 3 different sections; Modern/Structural, Early Ministry Of Joy, and Current Ministry Of Joy.
The Marmaliser
The Marmaliser, or the SPYDER is a giant sentient steel spider-shaped structure that contains five of the correctional processes during the layout. It collects the data of riders and uses it to adjust and tweak the marmalisation process. The marmaliser doesn't agree with the Ministry's viewpoint on marmalisation but will be punished if it acts up.
The Correction Block is an area in the Smiler queue that prepares riders for the main steps of marmalisation. This room is said to contain the AI program that runs the marmaliser, it 'follows' guests and disorientates them, enabling and then blocking their questioning abilities
The Disorentator is the first inversion on The Smiler, the heartline roll out the station. It comes as a surprise with strobe lights to disorientate the rider, further preparing them for the steps of marmalisation to follow.
The Flasher is a giant flashing light that blinds you as you hurtle under the leg. It assists in memory wiping and further disorientating you.
The Hypnotizer is a series of rapid optical illusions that disrupts and prevents your self of self and memories, allowing the Ministry to take over your personality.
The Giggler releases toxic laughing gas that causes 'joy' to fill the newly made empty parts of the rider's mind, beginning the more 'happy' stages of the marmalisation process.
The Inoculator injects the Ministry's 'joy serum' into riders rapidly as they pass by. This fully completes the happiness stage of marmalisation.
The Tickler (strange name, I know) is the arm of the marmaliser that tickles riders, sealing off the process.
Early Ministry Of Joy
The Ministry Of Joy was formed during wartime to create 'compliant soldiers' who would follow orders indefinitely. They had government funding in this era, and found through research that someone granted 'happiness' would be very likely to comply with whatever the person who granted them these feelings asked.
The Ministry Of Joy developed a method to deliver this joy, otherwise known in this time as 'The Advocate Trials.'
The direct steps of early correction are still unknown, but we know the Ministry Of Joy would carve smiles into people's faces, perform lobotomies, and more!!! (fun!)
If an Advocate has scars forming a smile on their face, they were likely marmalised through this process and not the more modern steps used on The Smiler.
Once the medical malpractice of The Ministry Of Joy was discovered, they lost government funding and were 'disbanded.'
However, they simply hid away in a fairground, but this fairground quickly became Alton Towers, the largest theme park in the UK.
The Ministry began to put up experiments framed as amusement rides, planning to use the data on a new form of correction that could affect millions more people than the flawed system they had.
They somehow became aware of the Forces of Oblivion and saw their way back into the world, meeting up with The Lord Of Darkness, promising him the ability to bring Oblivion to Towers if they could use the data (and power) collected from the world's first vertical drop rollercoaster. He agreed and Oblivion was built.
(This very well could have gone the other way, with The Ministry observing The Lord of Darkness's expirements and partnering with him after they were built. Just my idea of how this went.)
This data along with their internal experiments was used to develop the 7 Processes of Correction, testing them on a young troubled man named Miles Cedars to great success. They only halfway marmalised him so he still could think for himself and began advertising the new processes to the world.
Now, they reopened the Advocate Trials as a scare maze attraction to raise money and complete the last bit of research needed for their new gigantic project.
Then, construction began on the ultimate correctional device, The Smiler.
Dr. Kelman oversaw correctional practices during this time, considering his work mastered and perfect despite many 'failed' Advocates ending up in the Ministry's basement.
Yes, that's right, sometimes they would mess up the operation, causing paralysis, insanity, death, or worse. These failed Advocates were dumped into the basement (creating the plot of the 2012 scare maze 'The Sanctuary.') They were likely just put here to rot away and/or die, but there's an interesting theory of what happened to them in Modern Ministry Of Joy era.
Anyways, Kelman and almost every basic Advocate from this period DESPISED The Smiler, it was taking their jobs after all. A 'safer', more practical method of marmalisation that got rid of the need for these Advocates.
We know at least some of them are still around, as there were Advocates with early-correction-scars wandering X-Sector during the 2023 Smiler Takeover, but what fully happened to their jobs and such is unknown.
Modern Ministry Of Joy
The Smiler is the Ministry Of Joy's largest pet project, a 2013 Gerstlauer steel rollercoaster with 14 inversions. A heartline roll, downwards corkscrew, dive loop, dive loop, sidewinder, reverse sidewinder, corkscrew, downwards corkscrew, sea serpent roll, sea serpent roll, cobra roll, cobra roll, corkscrew, heartline roll. This coaster is 98 ft tall, 56 mph, and 4.5 g's.
"You are now embarking on an optical procedure, part of the correctional process."
One of my favorite parts of this rollercoaster is the VERY catchy theme song!
This melody, created by IMAscore, is DESIGNED to constantly repeat in your mind from the first time you hear it!
One of the producers of this soundtrack said that the song is supposed to make you feel ill and irritated, and the volume at which they blast the rather hypnotic tune in X-Sector does disorientate you, making you a prime candidate for the marmalisation process of The Smiler!
In celebration of The Smiler turning 10 in 2023, The Ministry 'took over' Alton Towers! Many experiments could be seen all throughout the resort, even Ministry audio playing in some queue lines. But perhaps the most interesting part of this event was the exclusive look we got inside the Ministry Of Joy, with The Fear Test.
This show was unique, a group of Advocates would test a participant's fear levels in certain situations and recommend Ministry Of Joy treatment if there were any.
The Advocates running this show were;
Dr. Gladwell - The 'Head Of Something' at The Ministry Of Joy. (I FORGOT ILL HAVE TO REWATCH..)
Grin-Grin the Clown - A Ministry Of Joy children's entertainer, his existence suggests that the Ministry of Joy does in fact contain children.
Joytide - Her position is unknown, but she looks like some kind of security guard who helps assist in the shows. Also implied she might be some kind of 'Head of Control' character.
The show usually went along these lines;
Joytide would pick a participant from the crowd who was introduced to the crowd and then hooked up to a heartbeat sensor. Gladwell would make them put their hand in a 'mystery box' usually with a spider or something like that and say the slightest noise could make it aggressive, telling the participant to take their hand out. Then, the participant would then be instructed to either do a public speech on why they didn't regret eating their friend's birthday cake because it made them happy, or perform a dance on stage. Then, they would introduce Grin-Grin the clown who would either sing a song with the participant or tell some odd jokes..
"ADVOCATES! Why did the chicken cross the road? To go on The Smiler and become truly happy with the Ministry Of Joy!" -Grin Grin
Then, Grin Grin would pull out a giant yellow balloon, and pretend to pop it, then 'walk away' but sneak back and pop it, scaring the participant. Grin Grin would 'leave' again but come back with a chainsaw, scaring the participant again. Eventually, the show would end and the participant would get a free fast-track to The Smiler.
This event also confirmed that The Ministry Of Joy does live under X-Sector, as some actors confirmed this to someone talking to them.